I've grown increasingly interested in the why behind the who the last few years.
Not just of others... but of myself as well.
Why do I enjoy a particular flavor of ice cream somedays...
... and a different one on others?
Who do I feel drawn to certain songs and types of music on some days...
... and a completely different genre on others?
What I've come to find is that is has less to do with conscious decision-making, and much more to do with the unseen realm of our mind - our unconscious assumptions.
Our conscious mind plays a minor role, and our unconscious mind a major one.
Problem is, we 'assume' the opposite holds true - and therein lies a big problem.
Our unconscious mind comes pre-loaded with thoughts, beliefs, and ideas that are not our own... but instead are installed through experiences not of our choosing.
This comes from relationships, television, music, experiences, you name it.
... all of everything you experience on the daily is pushing you towards the reality you're living - and if you're not choosing your inputs, your outputs wont be your own.
My favorite burger is In-n-Out... not because it's the best, but because it reminds me of drive-thru dinners on the way home from hockey practice with my father.
My favorite memory with my mother had nothing to do with the activity, but instead what I learned about myself that day... and it's why I seek out certain environments.
Psychologist Timothy D. Wilson puts it eloquently:
"We are strangers to ourselves.
There's so much about us that our unconscious mind knows, but we [consciously] don't"
... which suggests that our decisions aren't entirely ours, but are instead influenced by hidden parts of our psyche - of which controls the trajectory of our lives.
I find it fascinating that at any given moment the complexity of our minds can be catalogued and our awareness expanded to envelop our own consciousness.
Meaning... there's part of my mind that's always preparing for the worst...
... and there's another that believes that if I prepare, the worst will never happen.
This is how I view the difference between the conscious and unconscious...
... dual forces driving our decisions, habits, and reactions.
When we translate this to the understanding that reality is nothing more than our perception of it, you realize how profound an impact our subconscious plays.
If our focus is on the positive, but our subconscious only views the negative, you can be sure that when anything good happens you'll sabotage it shortly thereafter.
To change the narrative, you must first change yourself.
I've personally found that when I change my environment, my thoughts, habits and routines become much clearer... because they are forced into my consciousness.
If you're struggling to become aware of why you do what you do...
... change what you do daily for a long enough time to expose the habitual responses (my preference is > 1 month).
Go on a lengthy trip, move cities for a few months, or change your daily routine.
I read an incredible message a friend posted the other day that summarized this:
"Don't get caught up in the world around you.
You control your life.
Make decisions that produce the outcomes you desire.Don't look at what others are doing and think "Why am I not there?"
Instead think, "Is that what I truly want?"If so, go get it.
If not, stop comparing.Take responsibility for your actions.
Own your decisions.
... and if they don't make you feel good, change something.Surround yourself with the environment, people, work, and activities that align with the life you want, the values you hold true, and your end goal.
Make sure the environment your in is serving you.
... and make sure the people around you reinforce the life you desire.
Become a student of yourself.
By acknowledging this, you can unlock the doors to better, more informed decisions... and start a fascinating journey of self-exploration towards creating the reality that you consciously dream of - but your subconscious doesn't yet believe.
Make today your masterpiece !