A little over 2 years ago I moved to LA on a whim.
Wanting to avoid another Arizona summer, I fled to the beaches of Malibu.
I had just finished my work in the Tony Robbins Platinum Partnership and looked for a short-term rental that I technically couldn't afford, but one that would align with the future self I wanted to be.
I wanted to live today as the person I wanted to be tomorrow.
I found just the place with its own private beach access... and a rent that was 5.5x what I had paid in AZ.
Some will say it was negligence, but anytime I place myself into a situation that requires forced expansion I rise to the occasion... as the identity I have created for myself is one where I am infinitely resourceful and always figure it out.
Fast forward two years... I am in the process of purchasing that home as a rental property.
Yet, this week's newsletter isn't about forced expansion - it's about the reason I never left LA.
--
When I moved here, I only knew a few people... we weren't close and I honestly felt pretty lonely.
I was struggling to keep the momentum within my crumbling e-learning business and I didn't know what was next.
What I did know was one of my distant friends hosted a weekly coffee meet-up on Saturdays which I attended weekly, without fail. That meetup is where I met 3 of my 5 closest friends in Los Angeles... all on the same day.
Slowly but surely I started to get plugged in to the community I never had but always desired.
When the time came to 'go home' I realized the people and the community I built here had become my home.
In all of this, I've come to recognize home is not a place, but the people that you fill said places with.
Seeing as my mind thinks in systems, I've deconstructed what I did to build a deep and thriving community in what is wrongly considered to be one of the most superficial cities in the world.
Here's how I did it:
In a world that favors 'the next thing' I chose to lean into that psychological process and create 3 recurring calendar invites. I didn't want to 'have to' set up one-on-one coffees with everyone I was interested in building a relationship with, at least at first... and I realized this approach turns a lot of people off.
Instead, I chose 3 things that I enjoyed doing. Things where I could connect with others, AND not be tied to one conversation for an hour (or have to do all of the talking). These were T (Beach Tennis), W (Run Club), Sa (Coffee).
Anytime I met someone in passing, at another event, or was connected through someone... I invited them to what I was already doing (adding their email to the recurring calendar invite I had on mine).
Within a few months I had built a wide community of hundreds...
... and very quickly identified the people I wanted to go deep with.
Additionally, anything you do with consistency compounds... and the acquaintances I saw regularly became friends.
I wasn't able to do this at the scale I do now, but I always felt the desire to host.
Bringing people together immediately places you in the spotlight 'as the host' and any new connections made during the event are reflected upon as the time 'I met you at Kevin's (x) event'.
Pro Tip - This is also the psychological reason you should always aim to connect people.
*AND... I want to add, it doesn't have to be from a transactional point of view.
Present day, I host one large community event (Contrast & Coffee) monthly, and some smaller things here and there.
If you just moved to a new place, or don't have the community you desire, start here.
Every city, and I mean EVERY city, has local clubs you can tap into.
I recommend you search for them on Instagram or Google (i.e. Run Clubs in Los Angeles).
The key here is to focus on clubs involving activities you area already interested in as it guarantees you'll met people with things in common. Be you, and follow what lights you up... and the community you align with will come to you.
The main clubs I tapped in to in Los Angeles initially were: (Venice Run Club, LA Hike Club, Beach Tennis, Coffee, etc).
I would be curious to hear what has worked for you, too. Hit me on IG.
Stoked to announce that the Inputs Only Podcast is LIVE!
If you haven't yet, enter to win a trip for 2 on our upcoming retreat ($12k Value) by clicking here.
Seeing as it is the launch, I've decided to double our outputs and release two episodes this week!
The Man Who Runs 100+ Miles Per Week - Andrew Glaze | E01
Tap here to watch on: YouTube | Spotify | Apple
The Truth Behind Women's Longer Lifespans - Elise Joan | E02
Tap here to watch on: YouTube | Spotify | Apple
"Emotional intensity is far less important than dedicated consistency."
ï¹£Shane Parrish
Dial in your daily inputs... and all else will fall into place.
In last weeks edition, I wrote about a belief I no longer hold.
It's been the missing ingredient for quite some time...
... and is why I am the way I am and how I designed the life I desired.
It's a short, yet punchy one.
Tap here to read the full article.