You’re not fulfilled.
… not because you have what you want…
… but because you feel like you’re not progressing toward something you do..
Society awards external accomplishments.
Our physiology rewards internal progress.
It’s why you could have everything, yet never feel like you’re worth anything.
I’ve found this to be a two part problem.
- It’s a presence problem.
- It’s a purpose problem.
Presence is learning to be where your feet are… a topic for another newsletter.
Purpose, contrary to what you’re told, is not something you must find…
… but instead something you must remain in alignment with.
Everything in life exists in cycles… seasons, emotions, beliefs, etc.
Yet it’s the recognition of “This too shall pass…” that took me the longest to learn.
At least once a year I feel like I have it all figured out… then something shifts.
Most perceive this as a negative. The removal alignment…
… yet it’s actually growth disguised as a problem.
It’s the result of an expanded awareness… from information you didn’t previously have. It’s an understanding that you’ve uncovered another piece of your personal puzzle (even if you don’t know it consciously yet).
It’s the same cycle you’ve experienced countless times…
… yet your spotlight bias leads you to believe you’re the only person in history it’s happened to.
This is where capacity matters… because problems never disappear - what changes is your ability to handle them.
"To bear trials with a calm mind robs misfortune of its strength and burden."— Kevin Wathey (@Kevin_Wathey) January 31, 2023
Every time I find myself in this state, I don’t withdraw - I double down.
A great analogy is the difference between cows and buffalo.
Cows see a storm and try to run from it… only to run with it and prolong their time spent trying to weather it.
Buffalo do the opposite… they run towards it and are through it in a blink.
Avoidance often feels like a better approach, but conflict delayed is conflict multiplied.
Here’s my process.
I’ve felt like an imposter…
Twice in the last three years.
Both times only months after a huge accomplishment and I felt like I had nothing left to work towards…. Thus the problem with setting achievable goals.
This altered my psychology, as I no longer set goals… especially ones that are perceived to be easily achievable and validated by others. I don’t need anybody to believe for me… because if I can see it, time just hasn’t caught up yet.
You fall into the trap when you’re trying to justify your vision to others.
It’s not your job to convince them, it’s your job to prove it’s possible.
This isn’t about the removal of doubt either.
It’s about acknowledging your thoughts, understanding you are not them, and choosing to show up and do the work anyway..
I shared the metrics I track in io #04: The Single Trait That Made Me Successful.
It’s this data that has helped me remove bad days.
All that I choose to let exist now are bad moments… which are growing increasingly few and far between.
Reason being, I’m acutely aware of what works for me and what doesn’t.
What keeps me progressing towards my potential and what holds me back.
There will be times where you perceive everything to be falling apart.
When this happens, I do two things.
1. Ask Questions
- “Will this matter in 10 years?”
*If yes, I ask: “If there was a blessing here, what would it be?”
I word the question in a way that presupposes a positive outcome.
That normally does the trick and I’m back to firing on all cylinders…
... as long as I don’t let my daily habits fall off during the perceived slump. (*THIS IS IMPORTANT)
It’s incredibly difficult to remain in a slump when you’re routine is dialed in.
For me, my routine only ever slips after months of travel.
Once I become aware of the slide, I do number two:
2. Double Down
- This requires that you have the data on yourself.
For me, this looks like following my ‘at home’ routine to a T… even if on the road.
It can be difficult if I do not have the required amenities, but I always find a way.
In short, I must:
5:00a - Wake Up
5:05a - Write, Read or Breathwork
7:00a - Competitive & Intense Workout
8:00a - Ice Bath (5 Mins)
8:30a - Outdoor Walk with Podcast or *Anchored Songs
- Eat Only Nutritious Food & Drink 4 Liters Of Water Per Day
- Keep Phone on DND All Day
- Call A Friend If Need Be
- Lights Out By 8:30p
*You can install emotions within your body that can be switched on by using anchors.
If I’m feeling heavy, I’ll add a sunset run or breathwork to move more energy.
Emotion is nothing more than energy in motion, and you can choose where it goes.
In truth, if I’m not living in a beautiful state… It's because I've let something slip.
72 hours of the above and it’s difficult NOT to feel incredible.
When you’re ‘in it’ I know how rough it can feel… and I’m not saying not to feel.
I’m saying don’t wallow in it, which can cycle and lead to bad weeks, months, years and lifetimes.
We all know a sad Sally who derives pleasure from wallowing in her misery.
The above works for me, but you can make it as simple as focusing on the 3 S’s
Sleep - 7 - 8 Hrs Per Night - No More, No Less
Strain - 45 Mins Minimum of Intense Exercise (Zone 3 & 4)
Sunlight - View Sunrise & Sunset (Minimum of 15 Mins Each)
This should go without being said… but that’s not the world we live in.
Prioritize these everyday.
Remain consistent for a year.
… and you won’t be able to remember who you used to be.
Oh… and no alcohol.
The most complex technology we have is also the most underutilized.
It exists on a level of sophistication we do not understand, nor will we ever be capable of knowing… yet it’s taken for granted every day of our lives.
It’s not the latest AI
… a new invention from Musk.
… or an extraterrestrial discovery.
The most advanced technology we have… is us!
We dream of sending people in spacesuits to other planets…
Yet the planet we call home, the one designed to keep us alive and thrive in our human suit… is part of our daily experience.
So why do we take what we have for granted…
… and not optimize the technology in which we’ve been gifted?
Why do we assume that what we don’t have is better than what we do?
I have a theory, and I’d love to know yours… share it with me on Twitter @Kevin_Wathey
5 Steps to Constant Improvement (CANI)
You don’t always need to know where you want to go, but you must know what you want your life to look like.
Most entrepreneurs build businesses out of a desire for significance…
… instead of innovating a solution out of necessity.
In the case of a solopreneur, consciously choosing to design the lifestyle of their dreams.
This leads to transactional client/customer engagement…
… the best focus on transformation.
Visualize that which teeters on the edge of absurdity…
… as life often turns out better than you could ever imagine.
Jeff Bezos is known for leading with a singular question when it comes to creation.
- Does ‘this’ improve the lives of its customers?
In a world of infinite decisions, ‘no’ is always more effective than ‘yes’.
The latin root of the word ‘decision’ is ‘xxx,’ which means ‘to cut off’.
Therefore what you say ‘yes’ to is saying ‘no’ to everything else in that specific moment.
Priorities are more than just boundaries…
… they are micro decisions directing your towards designing your destiny.
Prioritize that which isn’t important to you for long enough, and that which is will sadly go actualized.
Naval Ravikant is notorious for creating mental models to simplify his life… especially his decision making process when two choices are present.
- In this scenario, one must pick the choice that causes the most short term pain - instead of delaying the inevitable.
If you want to win a battle, bring intensity; if you want to win the war, bring consistency.
We view those with speed as more talented than the rest…
… yet it’s those who remain consistent we idolize in the end.
Most people are doing the right things, just for a fraction of the time required to get what they want.
“Repetition is the mother of skill.” - Tony Robbins
- Do the right thing today… and then do it again, everyday - for the next three decades.
Reflect back on where you’ve been, and you can clearly see what worked vs. what didn’t.
Problem is, if you don’t analyze… you’ll never grow.
… and if you don’t grow, you’ll never be able to design today with what you wanted yesterday.
Track your inputs… the elements in your control.
Reference them against the results (KPI’s) of that which you want.
Do more of what worked.
It’s a simple equation…
You design tomorrow by what you choose to do today.
“You can’t manage what you can’t measure.” - Peter Drucker
- Ignorance is never bliss… it’s merely an excuse to not create the life you’ve always wanted.
You’re never going to get it right… aiming for perfection is pointless.
Perfection appears to exist as a destination; yet progress only exists in the present.
When you learn to prioritize progress, you begin to exist in the here and now.
Make this your default state, and you can consistently iterate.
Do this consistently and you’ll live one hell of a life.
- It’s never too late to become who you’re capable of being…
This Too Shall Pass
Finding Your ‘Purpose’ Isn’t The Solution
When You Feel Out Of Alignment, Double Down
For The Love Of All Things Holy… Zoom Out
Go design your destiny!
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